Here are 3 tips for what to do when you need to influence your stakeholders.
Map your stakeholders: instead of trying to win people over during the meeting, map your stakeholders in advance of the meeting. Find out who is most impacted by the discussion on the table, who will be the ultimate decision maker, and who quietly shapes how others decide. The next step is to build relationships and coalitions with these stakeholders to understand their point of view and any objections they might have to the decision you’re trying to influence.  By the time the meeting starts, you should know where everyone stands.
Don’t pitch: instead of offering ready-made solutions to an issue, ask questions that elicit strong held opinions and potential roadblocks. Leading with questions will help you surface objections and alternatives that stakeholders are already considering. To narrow the gap between different options, ask clarifying questions, remove confusion, sketch a path forward, then summarise to confirm alignment. Continue this process until you get a real decision, not just polite nods.
Stay calm: instead of reacting defensively when challenged, pause, breathe in and respond to the argument not the tone it was delivered in. Remember, when you’re challenged, especially in public, the body’s first instinct is to react. As your pulse quickens and your voice tightens, you will want to defend. However, not turning a challenge into a personal attack is a strategic move. When you remain calm under pressure, you signal maturity and steadiness. And when you do this consistently, you build credibility and trust.
The bottom line is that influence does not start during the meeting. By then, it’s usually too late.
The real work of influence happens before, around and between formal conversations.
So do the work before the meeting, listen more than you talk during the interaction and don’t let the temperature in the room set yours.