“Dreams are lovely. But they are just dreams. Fleeting, ephemeral, pretty. But dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It’s hard work that makes things happen. It’s hard work that creates change. So, lesson one, I guess is, ditch the dream and be a doer…” – Shonda Rhimes
Regret can be an unwanted companion in life, whispering to you about what went wrong or what you missed out on and keeping you stuck in the “what could have been” loop.
Constant regret is tiring, and if not used well can be detrimental to your emotional well-being by dragging you down and fuelling feelings of guilt, sadness, and sometimes even self-loathing.
So, what could you do instead.
I suggest that a more useful approach to dealing with regret is to acknowledge the feeling, extract the lessons it offers, and then consciously let it go and move forward.
And why is this important? Because of two things:
1. Being preoccupied with regret can prevent you from seeing opportunities in the present moment and make you hesitant to take new risks or try new possibilities. You end up missing out on the opportunities right in front of you.
2. Regret diminishes learning and growth because if you’re drowning in regret, you miss the chance to understand what went wrong, why it went wrong and how you can grow from it. You miss out on the wisdom mistakes can provide.
So, when regret pays you a visit, don’t dwell there. Instead, acknowledge the feeling as an opportunity to learn, extract the lessons and move forward with your new found knowledge.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow-
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out-
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit-
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
The new year is well underway and like you, I’m hoping that this will be a good year.
I’m hoping that all the pain, frustration, and disappointment of last year will not repeat itself this year.
I’m also hoping that all the joy, success, happiness, laughter, and fulfillment from last year will spread into this year and continue throughout the year.
But I’m not going to rely on hope alone, I want to be able to shape my life this year, I want to captain the ship called My Life.
And the way I do this is by taking the lessons from last year and building on them to shape my actions this year.
So, for those of you who have not done your review of last year and have not spent time deciding what you want from this year, I’m going to share the key questions I use to guide my thinking.
To do this well, find a quiet spot, arm yourself with paper and pen (or the digital equivalent) spend some time looking back and then planning forward.
It’s a great exercise to get clear on what you want and what you don’t want in your life.
Look back and ask…
Plan forward and ask…
Keep asking ‘what else?’ until you have at least 20 responses for each question.
Finally, ask yourself…
Enjoy the insights!
Hey there Thriver, Happy New Year!
So, are you ready to make 2022 a great, or even an exceptional year?
If your answer is yes, then here’s how…
Step 1: GET CLEAR on what you want to achieve this year
Step 2: CREATE A PLAN to guide your actions
Step 3: FOLLOW THE PLAN to create your results
Very simple really
But not easy
The problem is that most people get stuck, generally on either Step 1 or Step 3
At Step 1 – Lack of clarity will stop you before you even start
At Step 2 – It’s easy to create a plan, but it might be too ambitious or not courageous enough
At Step 3 – With no accountability, you may not follow your plan. This will derail your goals, projects, dreams, wants, habits, experiments or experiences (i.e., your results)
Sometimes you just need to be supported through the process…
If being supported is what you desire, I invite you to come into my world
Why?
Because I will introduce you to a coaching framework that produces results
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Come, let me coach you to succeed
Email me at nancy@thriveatwork.com.au so we can get started. Speak soon.
Three ‘must-have’ soft skills
I work with many smart and successful professionals. They are ambitious and keen to move to the next level. They’ve said to me…
This is where SOFT SKILLS can make a huge difference. Not just the foundational soft skills like Communication, Collaboration, Teamwork, etc but the ones that will give you an EDGE.
Leading workplace economists believe that we need to increase our focus on Soft Skills competencies into the future because ‘soft skill-intensive jobs’ will grow 2.5x faster than other jobs, with demand exceeding supply by 45%.
So what?
Well, there are three vital soft skills to master if you want to upgrade your career in 2021 and beyond.
You don’t need them in any particular order, but you need them to elevate your career to the next level.
Here is a simple and insightful 2-pager guide on the Three ‘must-have’ Soft Skills.
Get it now and start implementing the insights at work. You will be glad you took the time.
We’re all super busy.
The typical work calendar is blocked out with back-to-back meetings, huddles, workshops, town halls…so many things to attend.
And, because of this, the only time left in the day to do the work is after hours. This is the only time when you can slow down and find the space to do the thinking required to DO the work.
It’s a reality that can lead to burnout.
A recent Harvard Business Review article concluded that “burnout is a global issue”. The article is based on research carried out in 2020 with over 1500 respondents in 46 countries, across various industry sectors, roles and, seniority levels.
Two key findings that stand out are:
When burnout sets in, time for thinking declines and, the quality of thinking deteriorates.
If you’re a leader with a team, department or, an organisation looking up to you for vision, strategy, or leadership you must make time to THINK!
Creating this mental space has many benefits:
So how do you find time to think? Here are a few suggestions…
What will you choose?
Seems obvious, right? Water the roots to get the fruits.
I heard this for the first time on a podcast when I was out for my morning walk and I was intrigued.
It made me think of the concept of ‘deliberate practice’ popularised by Anders Ericsson in his book PEAK.
Basically, what Ericsson was saying is that to accomplish a goal or to gain expertise at something, one has to expend consistent, specific and focused effort until you achieve the goal or you become an expert. His studies reveal that ‘experts are always made, not born’.
So for example, if your tennis serve is the thing that lets you down during matches and you want to improve it, you allocate time, consistently, go to the tennis courts consistently, and intentionally practice your serve.
You practice your serve over and over, learning and adjusting until you get it right.
It means that during those deliberate practise sessions there are no backhands or forehands. You specifically and exclusively practise your serve!
And when you do this, you are watering the roots to get the fruits.
Which roots do you want to be watering? Go do it! And then let me know how you go.